


son of a gun

by Milieu



Category: Bandom, Black Veil Brides
Genre: Alternate Universe - Neighbors, Alternate Universe - Parents, Gen, Humor, Pre-Slash, Single Parents, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-22
Updated: 2018-09-23
Packaged: 2019-07-15 18:13:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16068578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Milieu/pseuds/Milieu
Summary: In which Ashley is late to work because he almost kidnapped his hot new neighbor's kid by accident.





	1. Chapter 1

"Where are we going?"

Ashley almost swerved right into the fucking ditch.

"Wha-" His head snapped up to look in the rear-view mirror. A pair of bright blue eyes peering from underneath a mop of dark brown hair looked back.

Ashley whipped around just to confirm that yes, there was in fact a fucking kid just sitting in his backseat, and then he pulled over.

"Where did you come from!?" He demanded twisting around in his seat again once the car was safely parked. What the fuck. What the actual fuck.  _Who_ the fuck? Whose kid was that? Ashley didn't have a kid.

"I was hiding," the kid replied, kicking his feet. He was small - maybe five or six, maybe a little older but runty. He was clutching a worn-looking Winnie the Pooh teddy bear that sported a holiday sweater and scarf. Ashley was quite sure he'd never seen this kid before. He was also a little bit concerned that he was having a heart attack.

"Are you from the apartment complex?" Shit, there had been some new arrivals, hadn't there? The usual influx of people moving in and out at the end of the summer was more or less over, but there were usually a few stragglers. 

The kid nodded. "Uh-huh."

"Okay." Ashley took a deep breath. Okay. Shit. Fuck. Well, he was already late to work, but obviously he had to turn around. Couldn't exactly just roll up with some kid that wasn't his in the backseat and leave him out in the bar parking lot all night, someone would ask questions-

Oh no. Ohhh no. This kid's parents were going to be looking for him. Ashley was so fucking boned.

"So where are we going?" The kid piped up again.

"Okay, well, first of all-  _you_ -" Ashley pointed at the kid. "-are going home."

"Okay." No fuss there. Jesus, little guy took everything in stride, huh? He was doing better than Ashley in that department.

"And put your seatbelt on!" Ashley ordered as he turned back to the steering wheel. He watched in the mirror until his instructions were followed. This probably wasn't safe, but fuck, it wasn't like he had a child's car seat.

Also he was already possibly having the cops called on him as soon as he got back to his apartment complex, so he might as well not add a ticket for having a passenger with no seatbelt to that. Jesus Christ in a sidecar.

Ashley took another deep breath and put the car back in gear, peeling around the nearest U-turn to head back home.

\---

"Axel!"

So picture this, right? Your marriage is dead. Okay, it had been in its death throes for a while, maybe years before you finally pulled the plug, but all the legal proceedings to actually finalize the deal were just, literally ass. Just a whole lot of ass, and not the fun kind. So Andy already had that on his plate. Marriage is dead, divorce court raining on all your parades, and while that's going on you've still got to, like, parent. Because you have a kid. One whole-ass tiny human being who relies on you to stay alive. And to be perfectly honest, Andy thought he was doing pretty well with the whole single parenting thing so far. Axel was fed, clothed, housed in their new apartment that was probably a lot more comfortable than what Andy should have been affording but he pretty much owed Jinxx his immortal soul now for whatever strings had been pulled with the landlord. Things were all squared away with the nearby school, and Axel's first day of kindergarten was in a couple of weeks. Work was like- Actually, Andy barely remembered what work was like right now. He'd been phoning it in hard; he was lucky as hell that Jake knew how to run the show while his assistant producer spent basically the whole time staring into space and also that Jake liked him and was understanding enough to not fire him for being on another planet for the last few months.

"Aaaxel!"

So all of that's happening, right? And then your kid, the tiny human that depends on you for literally everything, who you left alone for like ten fucking minutes because he was playing hide-and-seek with the other children at the apartment complex and you had to answer the phone to play another round of Fuck You Pay Child Support with your ex's lawyer, is gone.

Andy's irritation at Axel's refusal to answer anyone's calls or come out from wherever he was squirreled away when it was announced that the game was over had quickly passed. Then he'd been concerned, and now he was at barely-suppressed panic. Jinxx had herded the rest of the kids back over to their respective guardians and was now mostly trying to keep Andy calm. Their available neighbors had fanned out around the apartment complex, still calling for Axel and rooting through any potential hiding spots, to no luck.

Andy was on the verge of either a panic attack, crying, throwing up, or all three when the situation resolved itself in what might have been the stupidest way possible.

A car that Andy vaguely recognized as belonging to someone who lived in his building pulled into the gate and screeched to a halt not far from Andy and Jinxx. The driver, whom Andy also vaguely recognized but had never spoken to, threw the car door open and scrambled out. He looked like he either was about to have a stroke or was possibly already having one. The faint, rational part of Andy wondered if he was in a state to be driving in the first place.

That thought and all others went right out the window when the newcomer yanked the car's back door open and ushered a small figure out into the parking lot. Andy was pretty sure his heart stopped for a few seconds.

"Um, whose kid is this-?" Ashley barely finished the sentence before he was practically body-checked out of the way by a tall, very frantic-looking man who immediately scooped the kid up into his arms.

"Axel, oh my God, what were you doing-"

"He was in the back," Ashley interjected. "I didn't know he was there, he just popped up like a fucking- wait, shit, I didn't mean to say 'fuck' in front of your kid- oh God fucking dammit."

They both fell silent, staring at each other. Ashley valiantly resisted the urge to stick his head back into the car and slam the door on his neck.

"I was  _hiding_ ," Axel supplied, sounding a little put out now that nobody seemed to appreciate the fact that he'd clearly won the game.

Andy closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and silently counted backwards from ten. "Okay," he said finally, voice strained.

"...I have to go," Ashley said. "Uh, please don't call the police on me? I'm already kind of really late for work. Cool, bye." With that, he climbed back into the car, threw it into reverse, and peeled back out of the complex's parking lot, leaving Andy staring after him. Axel waved at the retreating car.

"...Who was that?" Andy asked Jinxx. He felt a little dizzy and had the presence of mind to set Axel back on the ground just in case he really started feeling faint, though he kept a firm grip on Axel's hand. Axel swung their linked hands, looking up at Andy with a frown when he didn't get the usual enthusiastic response.

Jinxx rubbed a hand over his face, wondering if he should find the whole scenario inappropriately funny. "That was Ashley. Lives one floor up from you. Bartender, nice guy. You'd probably get along." Maybe, if Andy could look at Ashley without having panic flashbacks to the last twenty minutes. "I'll just... go let everyone know we found Axel, okay?"

"Yeah," Andy said, letting out a gust of breath. "You do that. Axel and I are going to have a  _talk_ about getting in strangers' cars."

Axel pouted, lower lip quivering a little bit when he realized that he might be in trouble. His dad's talks took  _forever_.

\---

Ashley stormed into the bar forty-five minutes after his shift was supposed to have started.

"Don't," he said as soon as CC looked at him with raised eyebrows and opened his mouth to speak. "I already said 'fuck' in front of a five-year-old three times today and I don't wanna talk about it."

CC looked like he  _really_ wanted to ask, but he kept it to himself for once.

\---

The next Sunday morning, Ashley was nursing a cup of coffee in front of the TV when someone knocked on the front door of his apartment. He raised an eyebrow in the door's direction, wondering who would be visiting at 10 A.M. on a Sunday, but of course the door offered no response. He set his mug on the table next to the couch and stood to answer.

He got a jolt of déjà vu when he peered through the peephole and the first thing he registered was dark hair and blue eyes. The moment passed, and Ashley realized he was looking not at Stowaway Kid, as he'd been mentally calling his unexpected passenger from the other day, and instead at Vaguely Murderous-Looking Hot Dad. Ashley debated for a moment on whether it would be smart to open the door.

Vaguely Murderous-Looking Hot Dad was raising his hand to knock again, though, so Ashley decided to bite the bullet, unbolting and opening the door. "Hi?"

"Hi," Vaguely Murderous-Looking Hot Dad said, seeming a bit startled that he'd actually gotten a response. He was wearing a light blue apron patterned with fluffy white clouds over ripped jeans and some band t-shirt too faded for Ashley to make out the logo; he seemed to have forgotten he was wearing the apron. He abruptly thrust a large tupperware container at Ashley. "We made you apology muffins."

Ashley hesitantly accepted the tupperware, seeing that it did indeed contain muffins. A muffled giggle from somewhere below eye-level drew his attention to Stowaway Kid - he was pretty sure the kid's actual name was Axel, now that he thought about it - who was clinging to his dad's leg with one hand and securely clutching the Winnie the Pooh with the other.

"Sorry I hid in your car and made you late for work," he recited.

Ashley smiled despite himself. "It's fine," he said, laughing a little. What else were you supposed to say in the face of apology muffins? He extended his hand. "Ashley Purdy, by the way."

Hot Dad took his hand and shook it firmly. Ashley instinctively glanced down at his hand and noted the lack of a ring. "Andy Biersack." Andy nudged Axel forward. "Hey, what do we say?"

"I'm Axel," Axel said dutifully.

Ashley grinned and held his hand out so that Axel could shake it too, which he did before hiding his face in Andy's leg with a bashful smile. Ashley glanced back to Andy and was met with a dazzling smile.

For several seconds, the only thought going through Ashley's mind was  _Oh, fuck_.

"Uh. I was- having breakfast? Well, I was having coffee, but, I mean. You guys want to come in for a minute?"

"Oh." Andy looked surprised but not displeased. "Sure, if you don't mind? Coffee sounds great."

Ashley stepped back from the door to allow them entry. Yep. Good. Real good. Smart move. 

Okay, but really. Hot single dad first of all doesn't call the cops on him over a misunderstanding, which he had been kind of worried about actually, and then shows up with muffins.

How the fuck was Ashley supposed to resist?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had an idea like this a while back, forgot about it, and then randomly remembered it again. I have no plot or plans to continue it, but I thought it'd be a fun little thing to get written down.


	2. Bonus Extra Ending Chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought of this after I published the work but I didn't want to go back and add a bunch onto the end so you get a bonus epilogue.

"So you remember the guy whose kid I said 'fuck' in front of," Ashley said. He had decided to refer to Axel as "the kid I said 'fuck' in front of" instead of "the kid I almost kidnapped but it was by accident, I swear".

"Yeah?" CC responded from where he was stocking.

"I think I'm kind of in love with him."

"Dude. You met him last week."

"Cee, he brought me muffins. Apology muffins."

CC rolled his eyes, but he was grinning. "You fall so easy, man. You'll never be able to say 'fuck' again if that kid's around all the time."

Ashley sighed, leaning on the bar and resting his chin on his hand. "I guess that's a sacrifice I'm willing to make."


End file.
